


Your Beauty on the Dancefloor, seen from afar

by BrightestSun



Series: Au Yea August [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Coming Out, Drinking, Drug Use, F/F, Fluff, I dub it Lost Connection, I will build this ship myself if I have to, Party, Romance, experimenting with drugs, lost connection, make it gayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 12:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15534720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightestSun/pseuds/BrightestSun
Summary: Sabrina likes being invited to parties, she likes going to parties. Problem is she never knows what to do with herself when she actually is at a party. It doesn't help that her friend Alya makes it look easy, dancing with vibrant perfection and sexuality.Sabrina wishes she could dance with her, but there's no way that's happening.AU Yea August day 2 - CollegeThis is a sweet fluffy story, but trigger warning for drug use.This is my first upload for an Alyabrina story, it will not be my last. I will build this ship myself if I have to, and I will dub it "Lost Connection"





	Your Beauty on the Dancefloor, seen from afar

College, a place to express yourself, to experiment, to figure out your new identity and take the final steps from child to adult. A time for contemplation, partying and new friendships. Or in Sabrina’s case another place to sit in the corner while everyone else had fun.

 

Sabrina sighed, slowly sipping at beer, served in a typical red cup to give her a semblance of genuine American college experience. Of course the cups where less native to Germany, but she figured that some of her fellow students were into American Pie or some other, less outdated College movie. She should have known that if the invisible girl moved to a German college it didn’t magically turn her into the exotic interesting French woman, it just made her the invisible French girl.

 

It wasn’t all bad, she’d made friends with her fellow journalist Alya, whose beauty and extrovert charisma was the only reason Sabrina was able to get past the velvet rope of college parties. However while she really wanted to go and spend every day before a party over thinking every detail, she always found herself sitting in some sofa or standing in some corner, the wallfloweriest of wallflowers.

 

It was almost worse, if she wasn’t friends with Alya she could pretend that she could have an awesome and wild college experience if only others would invite her to parties. Now that she went to a few it was growing painfully obvious that it was her own damn fault.

 

She sighed, sipping at the bitter beer. She wasn’t really a fan of beer, never got a taste for it cause she didn’t party in high school, but she couldn’t well be at a party in Germany and not drink beer. Of course her distaste meant she never really got drunk, and she refused to try whatever hellish concoction Jäegerbombs were, could only be disgusting and disappointing.

 

A muscular boy plopped down next to her with enough force to make her jump up a little from the seat readjusting. He wore the smile of a typical confident jock, she wasn’t sure why he’d want to talk to her, but she dreaded the possibilities. Another, much smaller and skinnier boy, dark skinned with belt straps and glasses.

 

Sabrina swallowed, a jock and a nerd walked up to a wallflower, it sounded like the setup for a joke, she just hoped she wasn’t the punch line.

 

“Hey!” the jock yelled too loudly over the music which was for once at manageable levels. “I’m Kim! This is Max!” he introduced himself in english joyfully, he was clearly a bit drunk, the kind of drunk that made him put an arm around Sabrina’s shoulder without second thought, leaning in closer to her than she was comfortable with, and talking much too loudly.

 

“We seen you party! Like you here?” She knew it was only because of his poor mastery of English, but it was hard not to come to think of him as a Neanderthal from him speaking like that.

 

Sabrina gave a nervous nod “I speak German” she replied in German.

 

“Ohh!” Kim exclaimed amazed “I thought you were French!”

 

She nodded “I am, but my dad’s German, I speak both languages pretty well”

 

“That’s great! I barely speak one!” Kim laughed jokingly, rocking her gently back and forth. “We’ve seen you hang about alone at our parties, we were wondering if you were having fun at all!?”

 

Sabrina nodded “I am!” she lied “it’s not really my scene, but I enjoy being a part of it anyway. Wait, your parties?”

 

Kim nodded proudly “yea! Max and I are the unofficial party committee! Anyone who wants’ta throw an awesome party knows to get us involved! Goes for you too!” he rummaged in his wallet, finding a crumbled business card saying “Kim your party to the Max!” then two phone numbers.

 

Sabrina wanted to laugh but the large grinning man seemed to be completely sincere, she elected to return his grin as best she could.

 

“Course I could never do it without Max! He’s the brains of the operation!” Sabrina looked at Max, expecting him to be smiling as nervously as she did. She’d been roped into stuff like half baked party planning by more popular girls before, unable to say no and unwilling to admit it wasn’t something she knew what to do. To her surprise however, she found Max smiling with absolute sincerity, nodding along with Kim.

 

Max shot Sabrina a stern look, correcting his glasses “we’ve found that your presense is what we in the business refer to as ‘a buzzkill” Sabrina swallowed at the harsh comment, she’d expected the jock to make fun of her, not the nerd. “Your presence tends to create spheres of avoidance. In other words, when you sit in a sofa and look morose, no one can pull out a boardgame, grab the table for beer pong or just have a nice time lounging.” 

 

Sabrina swallowed back feelings of anguish at the harsh but logical teardown. It was perhaps the strangest way someone had decided to crush her confidence to date.

 

“Hey, hey that’s enough!” Kim held a hand up in front of Max, smiling down at Sabrina with his genuine and friendly demeanor “what he means is that everyone would have more fun if you had some fun, engage a little, you’ll end up being the life of the party!”

 

Sabrina fought back tears “I don’t… wouldn’t it be best for everyone if I just left…? If I’m bringing everyone down…”

 

“No!” the two boys said in unison, Kim leaned in closer as though he was going to tell her the secrets of the universe “we’re not here to throw good parties for those people” he motioned out at the dancing crowd, “we’re here to throw awesome parties for everyone, that includes you! If you’re here it’s cause you should be! and if we scared you away that would be a serious failing on our part!”

 

Max nodded “you might think that ‘parties’ aren’t your scene, but you’ll discover that parties are part of a broad spectrum of activities to engage in on such an evening. We simply need to help you find the aspect that you’ll find most enjoyable. I didn’t think I would enjoy parties until I started going with Kim, now I can hardly imagine a week without one”

 

Sabrina swallowed, recentering herself, she was such a loser that the ‘party doctors’ had needed to take pity on her. Somehow being helped like this might be more crushing than being thrown out.

 

She nodded “thanks for the advice guys, you’re very sweet! I’ll um… I’ll figure something out!” she tried sounding confident, rising from her seat, wanting to escape the situation.

 

“You sure you want to go it alone? We’d be happy to assist you, we have quite a bit of experience and expertise on the field” Max said assuringly.

 

“Yea! And we know lots about parties too!” Kim grinned unironically, making Max roll his eyes lovingly.

 

Sabrina shook her head “no I got it! I’ll have fun! I promise!” she could feel the voice in the back of her mind screaming out in protest, but she swore she’d find a way to prove to these boys and herself that she wasn’t a total loser.

 

Looking down at her cup she decided the first step was going to be drowning that nagging voice, she emptied her cup with the disgusting golden liquid. She held it out in cheers towards the two boys who returned the gesture; she tried to ignore the worry on Max’s face as she turned to enter the jungle of an active party.

 

She refilled her cup and looked around to see what her options were. The boys had promised that there were lots of things to do, if they were right then she’d have to be able to find something she might enjoy, or at least find a place to hide from everyone and say that she did.

 

Dancing was a no-go for sure, she was never going to be drunk enough to actually be able to dance. Looking out into the dancefloor she saw Alya who was moving like a beautiful tempest with two gorgeous people,  Sabrina didn’t recognize the girl, but the boy seemed familiar.

 

A blue haired Asian girl wearing a sweet and stylish shirt and skirt combo with leggings, the kind of outfit that seemed effortless, sweet and approachable, but also took an expert to pull off quite right. Her dancing was awkward, but purposefully so, like a parody of disco, it was the kind of dance someone might dance if they were either pretty bad at dancing and trying to still have fun, or pretty good at dancing and purposefully being funny. The fluidity of the woman’s motions made her think it was maybe the second.

 

The boy was… on billboards. Sabrina realized that the boy was on posters around campus and even outside of it. He was the lead in and co-author of the universities stage musical ‘ladybug and…‘ well something or other, she couldn’t recall the rest. Regardless, he was apparently some amazing guy who everyone liked.

 

He was wearing a simple white T-shirt and black skinny jeans, his hair springy enough to move with him but tamed enough to not become messy as he danced. His dancing was pretty impressive, a little over the top but it seemed to fit his carefree elegance. Sabrina got the sense that this boy knew ballet, and at least 3 other forms of deadly martial arts.

 

The three of them were dancing around one another, having fun in spite of, or perhaps because the eyes of most other dancers kept falling on them. Alya was dancing quite erotically, her hands dancing across the other girl playfully. She took off her belt to the small cheers of the audience, wrapping it around the blue haired girl and pulling her real close.

 

The boy let them dance forehead against forehead for a minute before intervening playfully, stealing the girl away from the brown haired beauty. The three of them had fun playing a romantic game of capture the flag with the cute girl as the flag.

 

Sabrina swallowed watching it, feeling a blush creep onto her face at the expressive show of playful courtship. She wondered if Alya was playing for the boys or if she might actually swing that way? She wanted to ask her the next time they talked privately but she knew she wouldn’t be able to find a way to bring it up that wouldn’t be too embarrassing.

 

She turned away from the brightness of the three gorgeous young adults, living their best youth in abject defiance of any kind of embarrassment, like a monument to everything Sabrina just couldn’t get herself to do.

 

Sabrina found that there were a few people standing near the dancing. They were moving a little to the beat of the music but were mostly spectating. It looked like a fair upgrade from wallflower, not quite dancing but not standing in a corner either.

 

Sabrina took another swig of the beer, starting to feel the heat in her cheeks and the tingling in her body. She approached the audience with stiff steps, standing next to a short, chubby woman with colorful dreadlocks pulled back by a hair band. She wore a simple green dress which looked good on her, a little overdressed for the occasion, but it was sweet rather than distracting.

 

The short girl was swaying slowly back and forth to the synthetic beats from the speakers which drowned Sabrina’s senses. The thumbing base might not be as loud as she’d experienced it sometimes, the kind of vibrations that threatened to blow out her eardrums and shake her brain into a concussion, but it was still beating into her body, tingling through her spine when she was standing this close.

 

The short girl’s eyes were closed, she looked relaxed, entranced in the music. She was totally doing her own thing, simply enjoying herself. Sabrina was befuddled looking at her, she wasn’t very pretty, and she was fat, and she was short, yet she was able to just enjoy herself dancing like people weren’t going to judge her?

 

Sabrina looked around to see the glaring eyes, snickering bitches who were looking at the girl, talking about how much of a loser she was, maybe taking a video to embarrass her later. But scanning the room, no one was looking like that. In fact it seemed like most people were minding their own business instead of finding ways to ruin others fun.

 

Sabrina hadn’t experienced any drama at all since she arrived at uni, it almost seemed like people actually meant it when they said they didn’t care about what you wore or did. From her openly gay bosses, the nerdy party planners and the chubby carefree dancers, maybe University really was a place for free expression, not just something people said.

 

Sabrina watched the small girls movements for a moment, before trying to copy her, the slow swaying hips and arms at hips were a speed she could live by. It was a little embarrassing but she realized it would probably be more embarrassing to be standing like a statue someone left near the dance floor.

 

She build her courage and started dancing, or trying to at least, hoping no one would see how hopeless she was. She found that it got a bit easier with every step and she was pretty sure no one was looking at her! Except she locked eyes with Kim and Max, who were sitting playing some card game with a few others at the table she’d been at before. The two boys gave her encouraging thumbs up’s, making her blush with embarrassment, it was almost like when her dad had come to her tournament and yelled way too loudly.

 

She swallowed the growing embarrassment, returning her gaze to Alya and her partners. They really were dancing like their passion would burst into flames at any moment. Sabrina’s heart skipped a beat, seeing Alya lean in to hold the blue haired beauty, making no attempt to hide her hand sliding down the girls back, squeezing her butt without a hint of embarrassment.

 

The blue haired girl just smiled teasingly back at Alya who looked totally enamored. She pulled away from Alya a bit, sticking out her tongue playfully and beckoning her to follow as she went back to dancing more (albeit only a little more) somberly with the boy.

 

The more Sabrina watched them, the more she noticed the look in Alya’s eyes, passionate, longing and transfixed. She wasn’t playing a game for any boy that was for sure, she seemed completely lost in the blue haired girl’s warm eyes.

 

Sabrina swallowed, seeing the way the girl kept retuning to the blonde model, it seemed like she enjoyed playing along, but probably nothing was going to happen between her and Alya. Sabrina felt heat rise as she saw her best friend being stringed along like that, it wasn’t fair to her!

 

Sabrina played with the thought of snatching Alya away to dance with her instead. Find a place away from the teasing theater kids where they could dance in peace, Alya could show her some moves and they could have a really nice time.

 

Sabrina’s breath was stolen as the image of Alya groping the blue haired girl flashed into her mind, feeling the phantom hand against herself as her fantasy played out. She swallowed, sipping at the beer, trying to hide her red face.

 

It wouldn’t be fair to Alya to dance with her, she couldn’t make it clear that it would just be platonic. Though could they be more? Sabrina still thought of herself as straight even though the last couple of years had shown a bit of evidence to the contrary. She’d kept being told and kept telling herself that she just hadn’t found the right guy yet.

 

Looking at the dancing ray of lesbian sunshine in front of her though, she realized that she wouldn’t be opposed to a bit of light touching on the dance floor. If she was being honest with herself she might even want to touch back.

 

Sabrina could feel the redness spreading across her face with every image that flashed in her mind. University was supposed to be a time for experimenting, even if it went nowhere she might regret it later if she didn’t at least try, there was no better time than in the foreign institutions free environment.

 

She wondered if she could talk to Alya about this, ask her to dance in a more private place? She blushed as she realized how that sounded. Looking at Alya’s continued dance of seduction towards the other girl, Sabrina’s heart sank, even if Alya was gay as a rainbow, she clearly liked beautiful girls.

 

Sabrina touched at the ends of her hair, becoming aware of how much she paled in comparison to the other girl. With every moment she watched the three dance she found herself feeling more and more spite towards the playful blue haired girl, with her perfect dance moves, shining blue hair that looked almost natural and flowed with her movements, her confident and playful smile. If she wasn’t her rival, Sabrina might have found her as attractive as Alya did, and she hated the girl for it.

 

Sabrina froze, feeling the presense of someone huge looming over her behind her. She had to fight the urge to attempt a shoulder throw on instinct. She turned to see a truly massive man standing behind her, he wasn’t looking at her, but rather on the small girl dancing next to her.

 

He loomed over them like an ogre, standing stonefaced, staring down at the small woman. His breath was ragged and antagonistic, his face red and wild, his eyes were hard to read, staring down at her with an intense glare.

 

Sabrina swallowed, cautiously looking around to see if anyone were going to do something or if she was going to have to. She didn’t want to be known as the psycho who kicked guys in the dick (again), but she was going to defend this small woman from this monster if she needed to.

 

The boy wore a black T-shirt with a skull and bones on it. Shorts and sneakers. His hair was black and buzzed short except for his bangs which grew out in a blonde tuft of hair, going down on the right side of his face, almost reaching his eye. He couldn’t look more like a videogame enemy if he tried.

 

Sabrina looked at him with glaring anticipation, figuring out how she would take down the behemoth if he tried something. He opened his mouth and yelled something at the girl, neither of the girls could make it out over the music.

 

The two girls blinked up at him, quizzically. The small woman seemed completely oblivious to the potential danger of a strange giant walking up to her with clenched fist and a face red with anger. Sabrina couldn’t imagine what kind of sheltered life the small girl had lived, but it made her want to protect her even more.

 

The boy’s face grew redder as he realized he’d gone unheard. He yelled louder this time, but it was hard to understand any but a few words, Sabrina only got “me!” out of it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone in the crowd, witnessing the scene, waving at the DJ, Nino, Alya’s friend.

 

As the huge man got ready to shout at the top of his lungs, the music cut out as Nino saw the predicament on the dance floor, wanting to help.

 

“DANCE WITH ME MYLENE!!!” he yelled with the power to make the roof rise, Sabrina swore she could see the small woman’s hair blowing from the sheer wind pressure of the man’s yelling.

 

Everything went quiet for a moment as everyone looked at the boy whose blush was rapidly turning his face glowing red. Sabrina could tell how he was frozen in embarrassing, screaming behind the eyes.

 

A snap went through him as Mylene’s hand found his, gently taking it “oh Ivan that’s sweet, of course I will!” she smiled gleefully. Ivan looked down at her with joyous surprise, looking around, unable to believe that she hadn’t run for the hills. Alya from the crowd wooed out towards them in approval. She was soon joined by support from all around, “way to go Ivan!” came from the crowd. He looked around embarrassed, but happy.

 

“Alright, alright! Can you just feel the love? This one’s for Ivan and Mylene!” Nino called out, placing a romantic song on the stand, flooding it out over a happy crowd.

 

Sabrina wasn’t sure what to do with herself as the people around her started pairing off. She stood sheepishly for a moment, then decided to evacuate and find something else to do. As she moved towards the kitchen to find another drink, she felt her hand be grasped, pulling her back.

 

She looked back confused, seeing Alya’s smiling face, her hand firmly around her wrist. “hey girl! Almost missed you on the dance floor. Glad to see you having fun” she smiled warmly at her, making Sabrina melt.

 

Sabrina’s eyes darted, she saw the blonde guy and her gorgeous rival dancing tightly against one another, the slow dance seemingly not made for three. She looked at Alya sympathetically, that had to sting.

 

Alya didn’t seem particularly concerned. She looked up at Sabrina with her usual confident eyes “wanna dance?”

 

Sabrina stared at her bewildered “I… I don’t know how…” she muttered.

 

Alya chuckled “that wasn’t my question” she winked.

 

Sabrina swallowed, finding every ounce of her courage to give a slight nod.

 

She felt her hands taken gently into Alya’s, she gasped as she felt Alya placing Sabrina’s hands around the beautiful girls hips. Alya smiled at her encouraging, placing her hands on Sabrina’s shoulders.

 

Alya danced slowly, moving her hips with rolling fluidity, Sabrina marveled at the movement. Even when barely moving at all, Alya seemed able to show her expertise and grace. The more she compared herself to the dancing brunette, the more she felt her own body lock down in refusal to even sway out of fear of being compared to the amused goddess.

 

A playful smile grew across Alya’s face with every moment. She leaned her body closer to Sabrina, clearly aware of the effect she was having. She hugged around Sabrina seductively, pressing her body against her and leaning in close, Sabrina could smell the alchohol on her breath, she whispered in her ear. “Nervous? It’s ok, I’ll be gentle” her playful words melted through whatever fake confidence had allowed her to move onto the dance floor in the first place.

 

Sabrina bit her lips, part of her wanted this, she’d literally dreamt of it, but any desire was being shouted down by screaming alarms. It was too much, she couldn’t, she wanted to just disappear.

 

She felt a shock go through her as she felt Alya’s hand sliding down her back playfully but determined. She tried allowing it, hoping it would stop at the center of her back, then at least at her lower back, then at least- nope!

 

Sabrina pushed herself away from Alya, freezing in place as she found herself staring into the confused and hurt eyes of the beautiful woman. She didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t do this and she couldn’t explain herself. Her mind was telling her to do a hundred different things at once, she felt like she was suffocating.

 

Sabrina looked panicked at Alya who seemed mortified “Sabrina I…” Sabrina couldn’t hear it, she couldn’t, she ran away, hearing Alya calling out behind her for her to wait.

 

Sabrina dashed through the rooms, finding a backdoor and making it out into the open air. Sabrina gasped for breath, Alya’s touch had taken so much out of her that she felt like she’d run a marathon.

 

She sunk down against a low stone wall, she was on a simple patio with a pretty gray stone wall surrounding a wood board floor. Sabrina’s hands found her hair, tugging into it as she berated herself for everything that happened.

 

Things had moved so quickly, much faster than she’d ever thought they could. It was like Alya lived at another speed entirely different from her own. Dancing with girls while everyone watches, completely unashamed, touching butts and probably making out like nobody’s business.

 

Sabrina fought back tears, knowing that she didn’t mean anything to Alya. She was probably just another girl for her to conquer, with how Alya acted, she probably teased girls like her all the time. Just pushing her to get a reaction!

 

Sabrina sobbed, feeling the pain overrun her defenses, she just wanted to go home and forget this all happened, forgot that for a moment she thought she’d be able to go to parties and be normal and popular.

 

“Do you mind? I came out here to _avoid_ the drama, not get involved in someone else’s” a snarky but pretty voice broke Sabrina’s train of thought. She looked over to see a blonde girl sitting just on the other side of the wall, Sabrina felt her heart shriek, she’d thought she was alone, but this girl had heard her crying like a child.

 

The blonde girl looked like she’d gotten most of her style choices from watching reruns of Mean Girls, she wore tight white pants with a striped black and white shirt and a small yellow jacket. Her hair fell down in bouncy strands of hair which was straight enough to not be curly, but springy enough to not look like a helmet (like Sabrina’s).

 

The girl looked at her without an ounce of sympathy, taking a long drag from her e-cigarette while staring Sabrina down. Sabrina felt like a rabbit cornered by a wolf, she almost wanted to just run away again, but the only exit was through the party and she was definitely not going back there.

 

The blonde seemed annoyed with her, Sabrina guessed she’d probably ruined her solitude. She swallowed, this seemed like the kind of girl that might snap a picture of her pathetic loser form and send it to her friends for a laugh.

 

The blonde sighed, she waved her hand with minimal gesture to make Sabrina approach. Sabrina didn’t feel like she had a choice in the matter and awkwardly got up, approaching the pretty woman with hesitant steps. She stood in front of her, leaning from one foot to the other, fearing what would happen.

 

“Sit” the girl ordered coldly. Sabrina quickly did, looking at the girl for signs of malice or sympathy, but she just seemed cold and mildly annoyed.

 

The blonde rummaged through her bag and retrieved a series of beauty products, she grabbed Sabrina’s glasses and placed them in Sabrina’s lap, then began drying Sabrina’s eyes with a wet wipe. She made no attempt to be gentle, efficiently and uncaringly cleaning the tears off of Sabrina’s face, then discarding the cloth by throwing it over the wall onto the grass.

 

The girl put a hand on Sabrina’s chin, moving her head to inspect her features. “you know, you’d be pretty if you wore make-up.” She concluded, “and of course if you could keep yourself from crying”.

 

Sabrina wondered if she was being mocked but it didn’t really feel like it, the efficient and uncaring tone and feeling to the girls actions seemed to be one of professional assessment. Still, every word she said seemed to sting a tiny bit. “um… I don’t really like wearing makeup” she said meagerly.

 

The blonde scoffed “you don’t wear makeup and tiny pants because you _like_ it, you do it so others will like you. And hate you, y’kno, in the good way.” The blonde didn’t ask before ordering Sabrina to close her eyes, she began applying eyeliner with the same merciless efficiency as before. Sabrina felt herself shaking as a stranger pushed a pencil against her eyelids.

 

“so…” the blonde finished applying the eyeliner with record speed, retrieving mascara and making Sabrina look upwards “tell auntie Chloé all about how they hurt you” she said sarcastically, though the invitation seemed sincere, Sabrina thought at least, this girl was very different from Alya, but she too seemed to exist in a different time zone.

 

“Um… well there’s this… boy” Sabrina muttered, making Chloé scoff again in an ‘of course there is’. “s… he wanted to dance with me and I think I wanted to dance with him too but… I got so nervous and he sort of grabbed my… well… I think I ruined it…”

 

Chloé shook her head, holding up lipstick colors to decide the best match for the pale girl. “Hey, you ruined nothing, if a guy’s gonna grab you in a way you don’t like then you fucking _should_ tell them off.” She decided on a darker red to contrast her hair “same goes for girls” she said with a knowing expression, but again devoid of a smile.

 

Sabrina swallowed “but… I don’t know what I want it’s just… what if I would have enjoyed it?” she bit her lip “she wanted me and maybe I wanted her, shouldn’t that have been enough for me? Why did I have to overthink it?”

 

Mild pain shot through Sabrina’s forehead as Chloé flicked her finger into it quite harshly “no. You wanted something, but it’s not what she was doing. There are a million ways to want someone, and if you’re not on the same page then you should be the one setting the pace, not some sexcrazed lesbo. Hashtag feminism or whatever”

 

Sabrina’s head spun with all the things that seemed wrong with that sentence. She decided instead to focus on the parts of it that seemed right “but… what if I blew my chance?”

 

Chloé shrugged, making Sabrina move her lips to apply the lipstick evenly “then you find a hotter, better girl and you make that cunt jealous. If anyone blew it it’s her.”

 

Sabrina felt like her mind needed to do cartwheels to keep up with this girl. “But… what if I want to try and be with her just… at my own pace?”

 

Chloé took another long drag on her e-cigarette, looking over her work on Sabrina’s face with a continued air of cold professionalism. “Then go get her” she said coldly.

 

“But..! whenever I try I just… I lose the ability to speak and then she talks and I just lose the ability to function!”

 

Chloé cocked an eyebrow “alchohol?”

 

Sabrina shook her head “I’d pass out before I got to a point where I could talk to her properly…”

 

Chloé snickered, the first bit of real emotion Sabrina had seen from her, it was nice to see that her face wasn’t frozen in a scowl, but she wished the discovery hadn’t come at the expense of being mocked.

 

Chloé returned the glasses onto Sabrina’s face, looking at her with amused disapproval. “if it were me I’d just melt away the nervousness and see how things go.” She packed her bag again, finding a mirror and showing Sabrina her work.

 

Sabrina looked at herself stunned, Chloé was a witch of some kind. Or a fairy godmother more like. Sabrina couldn’t remember ever having looked so good, the blonde had managed to beautify her more in 5 minutes than she’d be able to do in an hour.

 

She looked up at Chloé, unsure how to feel, she wanted to thank her, for the makeup and the advice but she wasn’t sure how. “Wait…” her mind caught up “melt away my nervousness? How would I do that?”

 

Chloé finished packing her bag, returning the mirror and grabbing a small plastic zip bag from a side pocket, she retrieved two small pills from it, one green and one blue. “here, guaranteed to make all your troubles disappear for 8 hours.” She placed the blue pill into Sabrina’s hand, putting the other on her own tongue with a playful wink and swallowing it. Chloé walked back towards the party, downing a bottle of water on her way, she turned over her shoulder for one last bit of advice “just drink plenty of water”.

 

Sabrina was completely stunned. She looked down at the tiny blue pill, a small heart was edged into it. She couldn’t believe she’d just been offered drugs at a college party. Her life was slowly turning into a teenage drama, instead of whatever black and white art film about loneliness that she was living out before.

 

Sabrina chuckled, feeling the tiny thing in her hand, it was smaller than an aspirin and the heart made it look almost like a tiny m&m, it truly looked harmless. She had to laugh at the thought that the blonde girl had thought Sabrina would want to do something like taking drugs from a stranger. What made it hard to be really amused by the scenario was that she couldn’t help but consider it.

 

Could it really be true? That she’d be confident, that she’d be able to talk to Alya the way she wanted. If it was ecstasy like she suspected, then she might be the one to grab Alya’s ass if she took it. Would it be easier that way? If she could be the person Alya wanted her to be. She wanted to be that person, the person who was open and sexual and able to live out her fantasies, but she knew it was impossible, she kept being stopped by a mental blockade. But looking down at the small pill… maybe she could be that person after all.

 

She knew it would be stupid, but maybe for once in her life she could just do something stupid and be ok with it. Just this once maybe she could stop living life only in her head, and actually do something she wanted to do.

 

Sabrina bit her lip, bringing the pill up and placing it on her tongue like Chloé had done, barely feeling it sliding down her throat and disappearing. She looked around and realized she didn’t have anything to drink, she should go make sure she was hydrated.

 

“Sabrina! There you are!” Alya burst out onto the patio, she looked panicked and exhausted. Sabrina feared for a moment that she’d seen her take the pill. “I’ve been looking all over for you!” Alya went up and hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry!” she gasped.

 

Sabrina stood there confused, slowly hugging Alya back “um… don’t worry about it, it was my fault”.

 

Alya pulled away from Sabrina, shaking her head “no I got drunk and practically assaulted you… I’m so stupid!”

 

Sabrina felt her heart beating faster, the apology made her feel light weight and bubbly, or maybe it was the pill? She wasn’t sure how quickly it was supposed to work. “It’s ok! I was just surprised. I’m sorry I freaked out like that”

 

Alya sighed, leaning up against the wall “I guess I’m that girl huh… the one who gets her straight girlfriends drunk and then…” she ran a hand through her hair, regret filling her expression. “I like hanging out with you y’kno? I promise it won’t happen again! I just… I’d hate to lose what we have”

 

Sabrina shook her head, she wanted to comfort Alya, seeing her filled with sorrow and regret was so unnatural. On the other hand she was amazed to see vulnerability from the girl who she’d thought was completely infallible. Seeing a human side to the flawless girl felt strangely warm, she’d never even considered that Alya would regret having touched her, she always thought everything was her own fault, that she’d done something wrong.

 

Sabrina leaned up against the wall next to Alya “I couldn’t quit hanging out with you if I tried. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me” she smiled at Alya who gave her a soft smile back.

 

Alya’s eyes were suddenly painted with surprise “wait… did you put on makeup?”

 

Sabrina chuckled “I think I might have been hit by a runaway cosmetologist”

 

Alya snorted out laughing. She looked Sabrina over “you look really good.” She spoke softly “not that… you looked bad before. Or that I mean… I don’t mean it in a creepy way!”

 

Sabrina laughed at the cute reaction “thanks.” She moved her hair behind her ear, trying to find the courage to tell Alya the truth. She became aware that she was feeling really hot, hotter than usual and it seemed like the heat kept climbing.

 

It was hard to describe, like describing the absence of something you expected, like realizing that the sun should have come up two hours ago. But she became aware that the screaming voice telling her to shut up, telling her that she was being an idiot, it was slowly just sinking away from the back of her mind.

 

She started feeling more love with every second, like the feelings she had for Alya already were doubled, slowly working towards being tripled. She wondered if it would stop climbing anytime soon, but feared maybe it wouldn’t for awhile, and somehow that was an amazing thought.

 

She couldn’t stop looking into Alya’s eyes, like two beautiful auburn circles which drew her in. She was overcome with the need to tell Alya how she felt, she felt like she might explode if she didn’t.

 

She sighed, unable to wipe the smile off her face “the truth is… I was so happy when you asked me to dance” she said with a dreamy voice “I’m… not straight, I’ve never said it before but… I’ve sort of known for awhile…”

 

Alya looked at her with a bewildered look in her eyes. She looked like she was going to say something but Sabrina stopped her “I just… I like you Alya, a lot! I thought there was no way you’d like me back. But… I’m not very good with intimacy, I want to it’s just… I need things to be slower” she sighed, rubbing her hands together “I know you’re so awesome and I love you so much! More than I’d realized. I want to try for you but just… could we maybe take it slow?”

 

Alya looked at her with wide eyes, a heavy blush creeping over her face. “Of course! I…” she played with her hair nervously “I’m not… that girl you danced with, that wasn’t me at all! I want to go slow”

 

Sabrina smiled at her, her heart threatening to burst from her chest “with… me?” she asked hopefully.

 

Alya bit her lip with barely contained excitement “yea…” she whispered, swallowing as her hands fidgeted aggressively in front of her.

 

Alya looked like she was practically shaking “um so… how um… how slow are we talking…?” she asked, barely able to contain herself.

 

Sabrina snickered, leaning over she kissed Alya. She could feel the heat spreading through her like wildfire as her lips locked with Alya. She leaned in against her, feeling the hesitant woman’s arms wrapping around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

 

Sabrina felt as though she could feel Alya’s warmth radiating off of her, entering her in the cool evening air, becoming a part of her. She surprised herself by pulling Alya closer, allowing her tongue to meet hers in desperate need to feel closer. Her hands gripped tightly at the back of Alya’s dress, trying to pull her closer as though hoping to merge with her.

 

Sabrina found herself forgetting why she had reservations in the first place. She could feel Alya against her like a goddess of love and passion and she couldn’t contain her need for more of her. She found herself increasingly wanting to throw Alya to the ground and do things to her she thought she’d never be able to bring into the real world.

 

In a moment of clarity, Sabrina realized that her minds loud insistence on tearing their clothes off and doing previously unimaginable things were the result of the drugs growing influence on her. She pulled away from Alya trying to think but finding it barely possible to find her previous reasoning, especially with a woman in front of her who wanted her maybe as much as Sabrina wanted her.

 

“Wow…” Alya gasped realigning her clothes and hair. She looked at Sabrina perplexed, but happy, her bathed breath hot against the evening, visible like the steam of passion. Sabrina felt her mouth drying, wanting to dive back into kissing Alya and just never stopping.

 

Sabrina tried remembering why she was so hesitant but couldn’t, but she could remember that she was. She knew somewhere deep down that she’d regret going further, though she couldn’t for the life of her remember why. She could feel the spreading heat of the drug continue to ignite inside her, she kept thinking it would stop and stay steadily at a height of passion, but it seemed like it kept finding new unexplored feelings to bring to the forefront of her mind.

 

She’d never felt so happy in her life, she knew part of her was sad (though she couldn’t feel it) that her first kiss with a woman wasn’t felt in a real way, poisoned by the influence of the foreign substance. She breathed heavily, imagining what else it could taint if the night continued. She looked at the gorgeous woman in front of her, realizing what she would end up doing to her if she didn’t stop things now, knowing that any minute she’d lose her last ounce of self control.

 

“Alya I love you, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, I love you more than anything in the world!” Sabrina breathed, looking at Alya who seemed surprised and a little worried “but I know that part of the reason that I feel this way is well… that I think I took ecstasy” she admitted, unable to stop herself from tapping the ground.

 

Alya almost doubled over herself “WHAT!?” expelled from her mouth.

 

Sabrina laughed “yea… I mean, I love you without it! I’ve thought about it for awhile. But the drug makes me love so… so much! It’s like I can’t believe how much I loved you, but I also find myself loving Chloé, and Max and Kim and even that girl you danced with! I love them all so much and I can barely contain myself!”

 

Alya smiled at her nervously, but Sabrina didn’t stop, she had something to say, she had a point somewhere, though she’d almost forgotten it “and… and I don’t want to have sex with you!” she remembered, “I mean I do, I really do, but not tonight!”

 

Alya nodded slowly “that’s ok, we said we’d take it slow right?”

 

Sabrina shook her head “well the problem with that is that I think this drug is going to change my mind about wanting to have sex with you like… any minute. Like I’m not even sure I believe it right now, like… just look at you… How could I say something so stupid!?”

 

Sabrina shook her head, trying to get back on topic “but I can’t, I would regret it so much… but I’m not sure what I’m going to do tonight… not sure how long this lasts or how intense it’s going to be…”

 

Alya continued to look amused and worried “why did you suddenly decide to drop e if you’ve never tried it before?” she smirked.

 

“uhhhh… well the runaway cosmetologist said it would give me the confidence to go dance with you. But then you came out here before it took effect and now I wish I hadn’t taken it! I wish I could have just talked to you before but whenever I tried I couldn’t.”

 

Alya chuckled “you’re a dumbass you know that?” she quipped with a smile on her lips.

 

Sabrina nodded “the thought had occurred to me. I just… I have so much energy… I can barely focus on this conversation anymore…”

 

Alya grabbed her shoulder and forced her to look into her eyes “ok just tell me what I need to do ok?”

 

Sabrina got lost for a moment in the beauty’s strong gaze, needing Alya to repeat the question. “Oh well… I need to drink water, a lot of it. And… I wanna dance. All night, with you. I never wanna stop dancing with you. I wanna dance so much that I cannot believe I’ve never danced before. I want you to dance with me, and grab my butt and hold me close and make sure I don’t end up kissing someone or sleeping with someone I shouldn’t, which is anyone. Except kissing you, I… I wanna so a lot more of that, if that’s ok.”

 

Alya pulled Sabrina in for a soft kiss “absolutely, and as my first official act of girlfriend, I’ll go get you some water. Don’t do anymore hard drugs while I’m away!”

 

After they had gotten some much needed liquid in Sabrina, they made it to the dance floor once again. Sabrina could feel her heart beating in time with the music. The colors which danced along the ceiling were cascading out as though created by the music itself. It was a symphony of color and movement the likes of which she’d never imagined could even exist.

 

She felt the music, really felt it, loving it the way it was meant to be loved. She couldn’t believe how blind she’d been to the love that existed around her. The music was painting its colors onto her soul like a canvas for its beauty, and she couldn’t imagine why she never noticed the colors of people’s souls before.

 

Her gaze kept falling of course on the most beautiful one of them all. Alya was keeping up with her dancing, smiling and wildly moving against her like an avatar of music’s beauty come to earth just for her. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was to be allowed to call this woman ‘girlfriend’. She couldn’t believe that the crowd were able to look away from the woman’s form. Her body glistening with sweat, her hair flowing like a shimmering river around her, her motions carrying her in wild and impossible ways with every beat.

 

Sabrina danced for what seemed like eternity, pausing only long enough to taste Alya’s lips, the sweat off of her neck, feeling her form. She felt as though Alya dragged her off the dance floor much too frequently, forcing her to refill and empty a bottle of water. She didn’t feel very thirsty until every time the water actually touched her lips and she found that she’d needed it. Of course every new time Alya dragged her off, she’d forgotten again.

 

Alya stayed by her side the whole night, making her drink water, making sure she sat down just once in awhile which Sabrina found herself barely able to do, until Alya began allowing her to make out with her on the couch, things got a little racy but Alya was always quick to stop Sabrina’s hands when they wandered a little too far.

 

Sabrina found Chloé on the dance floor, wanting to thank her and showing her the love that she was feeling, the two of them danced for a few wonderful moments. Alya pulled them apart quickly when they were about to start making out though, which Sabrina almost protested to, but was shut up by Alya’s own lips, making her remember that this was vastly superior.

 

Sabrina awoke the next morning with the biggest headache she could remember ever having had. She realized she wasn’t in her own room and looked around with as much panic as her near murdered mind was able to muster. She found Alya lying in her arms, hugging her tightly. She realized the two of them were still fully clothed, Sabrina hadn’t even removed her shoes.

 

Sabrina looked at the beautiful girl sleeping in her arms, remembering her protecting her, looking after her for what must have been hours upon hours of endless partying. She couldn’t believe that someone would do that for her.

 

Alya groaned, her tired eyes slowly opening and looking up at Sabrina. The two of them looked at one another for a moment, both clearly barely awake and their brains unable to formulate a word properly.

 

“So…” Alya whispered through a hoarse, strained voice “you ok?”

 

Sabrina smiled at her, finding that every muscle in her face moving caused intense pain to nail through her. “yea… think someone stepped on my brain though…” she tried saying, finding that the words were barely audible and every syllable hurt her throat.

 

Alya smirked “yea, you did. Think it was around 3 or 4 in the morning you decided to pull out your brain and dance on it. Or maybe it was when you dropped e in the first place”

 

Sabrina snickered, immediately regretting it as her shaking body strained with every muscle, every fiber in her body tingling with pain.

 

She looked at Alya with wonder and amazement “thank you…” she whispered “for everything…”

 

Alya nodded “of course, but I swear if you pull this shit again I’m breaking up with you.”

 

Sabrina smirked “does that mean we’re dating?”

 

Alya nodded “I should hope so with the night you just put me through!”

 

Sabrina’s hand found Alya’s squeezing it with what little strength she was able to muster in her exhausted state. “I’ll look after you next time”

 

“Yea well maybe I’ll give you a challenge and try a real designer drug, ecstasy’s for weaklings!” she laughed.

 

Sabrina laughed through the pain “I’ll just have to run twice as fast to make sure you’re alright. Oh! Maybe I’ll have enough energy if I just take some more ecstasy!” she joked.

 

“Don’t you dare!” Alya quipped, picking up a pillow and hitting it against Sabrina who groaned in terrible pain. “oh god sorry!” she said, realizing just how terrible of a state her girlfriend was in.

 

Once Sabrina’s head stopped spinning she smiled up “it’s ok, you’ve gotta suffer for love right?”

 

Alya blushed, then raised the pillow to smack Sabrina again while Sabrina protested. Alya decided to let the pillow fall, opting instead to lean over and plant a kiss on her dorky girlfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, I don't encourage drug use, and I'm aware that this story does not demonize drug use.  
> I'm a firm believer that it's better to at least know a little about drugs, in case a friend of yours or you intend to experiment with them.  
> If you're going to try drugs I don't recommend ecstasy or any drug that comes in pill form, as it can often contain numerous other things that the creator decided it would be fun to put in there. There's no way of telling if ecstasy is lazed with rat poison or more commonly, meth.  
> Also, never mix drugs and alchohol, if you're going to take drugs, take drugs and drink water, not alchohol!


End file.
